I apologize quite sincerely to you all. Time has gotten away from me. Some of you know that I’m going through a
difficult time in my personal life, and that has had me quite distracted. I really haven’t felt like writing when I
didn’t actually have to.
I did recently get together with some wonderful folks for a
Range Day, courtesy of John at FPF Training.
I needed pictures for an upcoming book on Advanced Defensive Techniques,
and John was kind enough to let us use his beautiful range. The day was gorgeous! Great friends, lots of green, fresh air,
awesome photographers and LOTS OF GUNS!
What could be more fun than that?
I’ll be sharing photos from that day over the next
weeks. I got to try some new techniques,
some of which I can tell you work, but encourage you not to try them unless you
have to use them to defend your life.
One of the most profound things that day was a discussion of
aftermath. Everyone was a credentialed
instructor in their own right. All
experienced shooters. We all learned
from each other but the one thing that touched one of the women deeply was a
discussion of aftermath. To illustrate,
I told a story from my own life. Back in
the mid 80’s (I know, some of you weren’t born yet!) I was stationed in
Korea. It was common for me to go hiking
in the hills beyond the town outside of the base where I was stationed. I was young, fit, invincible, and the Korean
people were wonderful, polite and generous, so I never had a moment of
fear. Besides, I had taken lots of self
defense classes.
Well, one day, my world turned upside down. I came up on a man who managed to convey that
he would like to pay me for sex. My
Korean was pretty bad, as was his English, but I got the message. He offered me everything he had which
translated to about $7.00. To this day,
I’m not sure which offended me more, the proposition or the amount. LOL I
declined and kept walking, he grabbed me.
Everything I had ever learned went right out of my head. I slammed both hands into his chest, palms
flat, knocking him down, and I ran. I
didn’t stop running until I was almost back to the base. I never even looked back. I went straight to my room, and then to a hot
shower. I felt violated, scared, and
couldn’t stop shaking. Then, it dawned
on me. I knew all these things I could
have done and I didn’t do any of them!
What was wrong with me? It took a
lot of nudging by some very caring friends to get me out of the dorm and at
least out in public the next day but I continued to question and second guess
myself for several days. I finally went
to talk to a counselor. She turned out
to be wonderful. She listened to me beat
myself up for what I could have done and then gave me the magic answer. I was safe.
I had not made the situation worse, I did exactly what I had to do to
get away. No more, no less. I did the right thing.
That was a turning point for me. I now share that story when I teach basic
unarmed defensive tactics. I teach
simple things, easy to remember, easy to do and encourage the students to do
the minimum it takes to get away.
This message resonated with one of the women who had found
herself in a situation where she reacted and got to safety but went through the
same second guessing that I had, except she had not found a caring
counselor. She didn’t realize that what she
experienced was normal and it was ok, until that moment. Talking privately later, we both got a little
emotional. It touched my heart to know
that someone else had been touched by my story.
I hope you never have to experience it for yourself, but
remember, what you feel after is normal and if you are safe, you did what you
had to do, including not making the situation worse.
Safe Shooting
